Red Leigh Cooper

Red Leigh Cooper

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

No Diving in the Shallow End

     I have been very grumpy lately. I'll own that I potentially haven't been a great joy to be around. I can admit it. The funny thing about it is, at this time, I'm probably the most clear about what I want to do with my life. So, the moodiness would almost seem unwarranted. However, I am absolutely, over the top and severely restless and that's what makes me so dejected.  I feel like here I am, on my "beach", but I'm just kind of standing in the ebb and flow of the tide on the shore. Like I'm not being allowed to get in the water completely, but I'm getting that little taste of the warm, summer ocean as it flows over my feet in small intervals and its all very frustrating.

     Remember when you were a kid and all you wanted to do was dive into the shallow end of the pool...

     Well I guess you didn't really want to specifically dive into the shallow end, you just wanted to dive in anywhere.  But the sign above...and a lifeguard...and probably your Mom just wouldn't let you dive on just anywhere.  Even if you did it once, you got a good tongue lashing for it, which included why you shouldn't have done it.  All you heard was , " Blah, blah, blah...hit your head...blah, blah, blah...concussion..."  What your Mom didn't tell you was the deep end was better!  The deep end of the pool is magic when you finally realize you can swim there without drowning.  It the land of big splashes from jackknives and  cannonballs.  It's the territory of somersaults and back flips.  It's where you can gracefully show off all of your swimming skills because there is room to do so.  But, no, you were cautioned about ever diving in because you might be hurt.

     Is that why I'm sitting on the shore?  Am I still afraid of potential "sharks" ?  Do I have that parental voice in my head just saying no, but not telling me the joy of jumping in properly?...

     ...Wait...Is there a way to jump in properly?....

     I had lunch last week with a co-worker.  This guy is amazing.  He has participated in so many programs and exercises in "starfishing" that I could sit and listen to him for hours.  I think he could sense my agitation, which I had hinted at here and there during the conversation.  He looked right at me after some kind of exposition on an experience I can't honestly remember right now and said, "Whatever you want, you have to call it into your life."

   Whoa.   Is that all I need to start swimming?  I can't believe it's that easy...  After a year and almost half now of examining every part of my past, personality, and persuasions, I'm going to dive in and call it into my life...

   First and foremost I am a writer.  I've been doing some form of writing since I was 9 years old.  I could've just stopped there, but I had to identify what I wanted to do with that particular talent and what was holding me back from doing it.   I want to write books.  I want to do speaking engagements.  I want to help others find their "starfish".  I still want to write music and even know, after taking a musical inventory, what that will look like now when I do, but at the forefront is the books. Yes, I still have a day job, but have been pulling away from Accounting and realizing that what I may do temporarily for a living ultimately does not define who I am.  I've spent this whole time defining me; Accountant was a tiny part of it.  Now it's all up to how well I move past obstacles that keep me on the shore and how well I swim out into the deep water.

     A dear friend of mine posted this little nugget of wisdom on Facebook last week:  “As a rock star, I have two instincts, I want to have fun, and I want to change the world. I have a chance to do both.” - Bono...

     Forget being Batman...I'm going to be Bono!

     I am off on an awesome journey!  While I'll need to remember...

......this is what I must really remember above anything else...

Starfish GRABBED!

Here is always wishing you a fruitful fishing expedition!  Now go out there and find your starfish!


P.S. - Just because I grabbed the starfish doesn't mean the blog is over by any means.  There will be ups and downs along the way.  I share them here so you can take what you wish from the experience whether it's inspiration, knowledge, or even a sense of "oh my gosh, I'm not doing that!"  What ever you get from my blog, we'll go through the process together.  Remember we are individuals of the collective...that's my story...and I'm sticking to it!


  1. Good for you. Of course now that you are in the deep end, it is ever more important to *not* stop swimming.

  2. Thanks, Dj! Although I do remember being very good at the "Dead Man's Float" during my swimming lessons... ; ) HA! Yes, I am going to do my best to not stop swimming.